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  • Valentine (c. 199X)
  • they/them; mx.
  • white USian
  • queer androgyne
  • bohemian hermit and artist extraordinaire
  • crutch-wielder with proficiency in canes
  • Tumblr Eldritch Archivist™️

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Keep reading

Auschwitz Museum Remembers Gay Men Who Were Murdered in the Holocaust

psyfic:

Yep. The Holocaust didn’t start with crematoriums. Learn more history.

Excerpt: Although male homosexual activity had been technically illegal in Germany since the 19th century, it was generally tolerated and even celebrated within certain urban circles prior to Adolf Hitler’s ascension to power in 1933. Weimar-era Berlin came to be labeled as the “gay capital of the world,” a city where a booming queer nightlife scene was wedded with the budding dissemination of new academic ideas calling for greater acceptance of homosexuality and gender non-conformity.

Realizing the power these movements held, the Nazis began their anti-gay purges by immediately targeting the very hubs of queer cultural production and kinship, namely clubs, societies and Magnus Hirschfield’s renowned sexology research institute. Decades of pioneering work and community life had been erased, thus depriving queer Germans of their sources of solidarity both during and after the Third Reich.

…police forces arrested approximately 100,000 gay men before the war came to an end, of whom around 10-15,000 were sent to concentration camps. There, they were subjected to barbaric tortures, including sexual abuse, castration and medical experiments, and were further ostracized by fellow inmates. Overall prospects for gay prisoners were poor: an estimated 65% died, and an unknown, albeit likely disproportionate, number committed suicide.

But, tragically, gay Holocaust survivors did not leave their camps as recognized victims. Instead, even after liberation, they left as convicted criminals.

hey fun fact did you know that if you're on the schizophrenia spectrum, have psychosis, have psychotic symptoms or traits, etc, that you're loved and your symptoms and traits should not be vilainized or seen as evil or ugly?

did you know that this also means you shouldn't mock people for behavior you deem "strange" or "unnerving", like talking to themselves, not being able to speak cohesively, acting like they're being watched, and such? and specially not call them "insane" or "crazy" or even worse terms?

babe wake up first usa stripper union jus won !!!!!!

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x

Not the first! The only one now but there was one previously!

^^ true! the workers at Lusty Lady in san fran were union until it closed in 2013 </3

okay i'm gonna need you to stop trying to die for me you suck at it and you're making us BOTH look cringe

My therapist: just because you made a plan doesn’t mean you’ll always follow it perfectly, and that’s okay. It’s better to follow a plan cursorily than not at all.

Me, sobbing: THAT WAS AN OPTION???

Oh, this is super important.

When trying new coping strategies or learning a new habit, you’ll fail. Possibly many many times.

But that’s alright! No one just PICKS it up immediately. 

You’re trying to learn to do it sometimes, and then occasionally, and then more often than not, and finally every time!

Similarly, you might fail in any plan or timetable you’re trying to use.

But that’s alright! 

As OP’s therapist said, it doesn’t have to be perfect! In fact, no one can pick it up immediately. 

Doing things OCCASIONALLY is better than not doing it at all.

Doing things LATE is better than not doing it at all.

Doing things PARTIALLY is better than not doing it at all.

Also don’t aim for perfection. Just aim for as best you can, ideally a little better than last time. But? There will be ups and downs. That isn’t a flaw in you or your techniques, it’s just how people work.

Indeed. 

Let me also post OP’s tags cause it had another good point.

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how did he get away with this

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there were entire blogs on this site dedicated of pictures of griffin mcelroy putting things in his mouth

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Would your twelve year old self like who you are today, and sorry no nuance allowed you have to pick one

Yes

No

It’s so hard to break the cycle and realize you’ve been chasing after unavailable people, emotionally and whatnot, over and over again. And that just ended up fueling avoidance further, too.

The origin doesn’t matter much too: whether you came to develop AvPD from childhood trauma, neglect, bullying, or something else; it’s likely that you either withdrew from trying to connect with people altogether, or you started chasing after people who were unavailable for you.

As you work towards building your self-esteem and strengthening your sense of self, you might start second-guessing yourself - again - are you too inflexible? Are your standards too high? Are you going too much into the other side (from ”I’m terrible and no one would want me” to “I’m too good for everyone and they all suck”)? Of course it is hard to find a balance, black and white thinking is a reality for you, and something you’ve been working on for years to improve.

That sense of overwhelm you feel when trying to get close to someone, or trying to let others close, comes from you not listening to your needs. Everything “worked” before when you were unaware, but now it doesn’t.

Now you really do know better.

You already know you’re not at fault here, you’ve been doing the best you can. You’ve been as transparent as one can be regarding your emotions, your mental health, your needs and so much more, because you know communication is one of the keys for any kind of relationship to be successful.

You hold onto unavailable people out of fear, don’t you? You don’t want to be “alone”, but how ironic it is that you keep loneliness at bay in spite of… all your other needs. Then, yes. you’re not “alone” but it feels dreadful: you fear you’re going to be abandoned or rejected (because they’re unavailable), they don’t want or can’t date you (because they’re unavailable), they keep to themselves and/or don’t talk much and/or don’t share and/or don’t confide in you about their emotions/needs/fears/etc (because they’re unavailable), and so, so much more.

You keep ignoring and avoiding the fact that it feels one-sided, either from the start or eventually becomes that way.

You obsess over, you resent, burn out, and pull away… just to start it all over again. That hurts you, and it hurts them. It feels like a sadistic game, in which you give and take, you push and pull, and that deteriorates the connection. You feel hopeless to stop it because you like and want them.

But they don’t want you.

They don’t want you in a way that reassures you, because they’re unavailable, and you didn’t want to see. It’s better to be blissfully ignorant and overlook the signs given to you, and blame your brain for overreacting because of trauma or something else, or maybe you were being too inflexible and asking for too much after all.

This goes for friendships and partners alike, connections held together by flimsy threads, that will break sooner or later, and you’re avoiding it, because you don’t want to see the truth that’s right in front of you, it hurts.

Except… you deserve better. Right now. This doesn’t have to wait until you’re asymptomatic - if anything, this will help you improve.

You’ve grown so much, you came so far in your journey to heal. You’re still healing.

You deserve to feel wanted and cherished, treasured and prioritized. You deserve proper communication, too.

You deserve people who want you and will make the time to be with you, who will put on the effort, and energy into getting things going - much like you try doing yourself - you deserve people who are available to you.

This is not too much to ask.

That’s the bare minimum.

In the club

I think I’m literally never gonna be sick of this masterpiece. I think watching it on a loop for eight hours could fix me. Dancing’s what clears my soul. Dancing’s what makes me whole.

just some lil dudes i guess

was gunna make them into adopts but!! idk now hahaha

when you see your little kitty walking toward you at a leisurely pace and say "hi baby!" bc you're excited to see her and she starts trotting a little bit faster 'cause she's excited to see you too. that's what life is all about i think